Truth & Prophecies PT 5

Fear and Doubt... My two closes friends once change proceeds to take over. What commands such reaction? Why do I think or dwell on it to much? So she knows the crushing truth sooner then I wanted her to but so be it. I'd rather have change now and work through the One Thousand Thirty Seven Mile difference on this scale then to get there and have to start fresh. So how do I explain my feelings? OH sure many might think I'll chase what ever I can, but those that truly know me are aware of the situations in life that I desire. How can I describe her? 7 year difference between the two of us. She is single mom who owns her home and only pays rental space. I have a mortgage and a job that I've carried for 10 years come this September 2011. She wishes to have a family and so do I. Now I know I have kids from my previous marriage, but does not mean I can not start new. This will just be an extension of my previous family, and my children Simon & Sasha will always be regarded as the most importance of my life none the less. All who are my family shalt be equal, for I will have no judgment passed saying I favored anyone more so then I did the next. I grew up that way and I will not make those mistakes or leave anyone feeling left out. I shall love all of my children; previous, step or even future just the same as any. It is her, the future partner that I take upon that will obviously be the spoiled one.
Should my new endevers play out well with the grace of God watching over the matter and guiding the positive out come. I can honestly say, this new soul would be the one I wish to grow old with and die loving. She is worth ever bit of that statement. She is an amazing soul, with charm and beauty hidden from many in the midst of the desert. I would never make her move unless she wanted to at some point, and even then it would be for all of us. She is the spirited image of my favorite video game character, and that image alone makes her so damn HOT... That no Victoria Secret model or Center Fold could rival her in the life time I would spend with her. She is sweet, I've got her beat on the innocence part. Just her voice at times can take away the world around me and leave me staring at the heavens. God did well bringing me this far to her door step.
I know, I'm always all over the place. Gemini nature kicking in. I linger over hearing from her txt or voice everyday. At times it makes or breaks the moment I am in. She stirs the heart beat and causes me to run faster. She makes me believe that good, pure hearted happy people still exist and that the world is not completely at a loss. I look forward to my return trip come this spring, as it will be the path to forever and possibly the end of my search. My search for completeness. Oh the energy she has placed in me and the fact that the oddest of my friends is the one that so to wishes for me to have this one in my life only leads me to the grace of God watching over me now. Never forget the past, never judge on the past. Take all that was before as lessons we all must learn, and carry the positive trails of love into the future. I so ask this to be the final stage. I shall date or do all that I must to make it so and if I must travel thousands of miles a year to have the end result that I desire. Then here I am, ready to do so with your image in my heart always guiding me home to you. Together or apart, Nikki you feed the laughter that brings the light of the sun down upon me. With you I could see never crying again, except when everyone is that happy.
My words leave me silent as I am so uplifted by this woman. Friendship for a life time, partner forever.