I cried today from all the happiness built up inside my heart... I thanked God for bringing you into my life and yet I still shed tears of joy as I write this message about you. I know who I am now, I know what I want and I know how far I'd go to have it all. That includes you Nikki, You in my life forever to the day that I last breathe. You are but 1,037 Miles from me and I want to see you everyday. I wait day in day out to hear from you, and the smile it brings when you call me could light up the entire state of Washington. You have stolen my heart in such a way that I doubt the survival rate should anything negative come upon the situation, but with grace and pride and the passion for glory in the eyes of the heaven's you and I shall be together. Baby steps, small stone throws, what ever it takes to bring us together completely. Some day you may end up reading this, and I hope you do. I want you to know that at this very moment I've only seen you physically once in my life but I have talk to you just about everyday since that glorious moment and Nikki, I am in love with you. I can not and will not hide my thoughts for this is why I have this out let, so when their are moments in waiting you will know I was thinking about you all the time. You have brought peace to me soul, focus to my life and desire to live so freely. You except me for me, you laugh at the things we joke about, you make fun of me and I know you can do one hell of a Godzilla growl. When I look back at this day in my memories after our lives have come full circle and have joined together I will know now as I do then how much I love you with all my soul has to offer. The beauty and grace of who you are to me is an energy beyond words that even the greatest dictionary could ever house. Nikki, I have reached my turning point to say that I will come to you every chance I get and I will keep coming until you say yes! You are a do or do not moment in time and if I do not then it will be the worst decision I will have ever made should I not pursue you. Soon as I have my Taxes and Car situation take care of I will be at your door with flowers and steak :D
I know it may scare you, may even seem impossible to run the whole long distance relationship thing but I'm willing to go as far as I can to make this happen. I have already thought it through to prepare myself for when we come to live together. Sure we'll date if that is what pleases you, I will do all that I can and is necessary to show you my dedication and want for you. I know you'll be scared to move if that ever becomes the topic of the moment, but you and your son are in my life now until the day should you ever tell me to leave. I am here now for you, sworn by the grace of God that I have been give the ultimate gift of finding you. I'm not expecting change right away, this is so much even unto me but with everything in order I shall do my hearts greatest to show the world you are the Queen I've been searching for and that the world I live in will tell you that I will take you until the day we are called to the heavens to return home. Nikki, I am yours whole and pure. Loyal to the end, and I shall spread the glory the day you say yes. I am coming soon, prepare to have my eyes look upon you with so much love.. That it will break me the moment I have to go home because I live here waiting for you. Always & Forever
Speaking in Riddles
I have found a new surface at a distance of 1,087 miles.
A head of me a road full of trials.
To speak thy name brings an air of light to my soul,
to see your messages on a daily basis makes me glow.
It is without much thought that my brain dreams of you.
Thinking of possibilities that we might be together though so far apart.
The master plan to find out what can be made true,
to find glory and hope in this new start.
I feel you are for me, as I see my heart race anytime you presence comes to me,
digital or not I have met you in the flesh.
This new fresh idea has stolen my heart the day I met you, I bet you knew but wanted me lost for words.
You invited me back, to act like a king for a queen. To a grand full day of glorious fun in your sun that you keep so well above your home.
Let me not say to much, as the weird vibe that changes life may put you on different page.
Allow my dreams to bask in the light of my fantasies before I go and speak truths to you.
I know not how you shall react, but I wish my dreams into reality instead of being a dead fact.
Yes the interest is pure, and I care not the distance between our hearts. It starts my everyday with a smile you do. What will change should you learn my feelings?
Will you treat me any different then what we were before? What sad losses of our friendship is in store. Why must it change should you know I would keep you just the same. Why must is change if I want to brag to the world about you. Or will it be me, in the sadness I see when you think different then I do about our chance in time.
Its harder everyday to keep my composure when I hear your voice, the choice filling my ears with music. I so wish to tell you but time must run its course first, let our friendship grow for a bit more. Allowing me to be certain that my fantasies don't over run reality. At our distance I know we carry separate live, but none the less I would still desire you everyday that I did not see you. You spoken certain words that in riddles yourself and yet you dream of the things I do. This is true.
Then again and again, am I just keeping to much in. Should I say something now, in case wow my time ends and another takes up the spot where I had my chance. I never know with these methods of the heart, where to start or what to wait for.
The core of my soul is dreaming of us.
A head of me a road full of trials.
To speak thy name brings an air of light to my soul,
to see your messages on a daily basis makes me glow.
It is without much thought that my brain dreams of you.
Thinking of possibilities that we might be together though so far apart.
The master plan to find out what can be made true,
to find glory and hope in this new start.
I feel you are for me, as I see my heart race anytime you presence comes to me,
digital or not I have met you in the flesh.
This new fresh idea has stolen my heart the day I met you, I bet you knew but wanted me lost for words.
You invited me back, to act like a king for a queen. To a grand full day of glorious fun in your sun that you keep so well above your home.
Let me not say to much, as the weird vibe that changes life may put you on different page.
Allow my dreams to bask in the light of my fantasies before I go and speak truths to you.
I know not how you shall react, but I wish my dreams into reality instead of being a dead fact.
Yes the interest is pure, and I care not the distance between our hearts. It starts my everyday with a smile you do. What will change should you learn my feelings?
Will you treat me any different then what we were before? What sad losses of our friendship is in store. Why must it change should you know I would keep you just the same. Why must is change if I want to brag to the world about you. Or will it be me, in the sadness I see when you think different then I do about our chance in time.
Its harder everyday to keep my composure when I hear your voice, the choice filling my ears with music. I so wish to tell you but time must run its course first, let our friendship grow for a bit more. Allowing me to be certain that my fantasies don't over run reality. At our distance I know we carry separate live, but none the less I would still desire you everyday that I did not see you. You spoken certain words that in riddles yourself and yet you dream of the things I do. This is true.
Then again and again, am I just keeping to much in. Should I say something now, in case wow my time ends and another takes up the spot where I had my chance. I never know with these methods of the heart, where to start or what to wait for.
The core of my soul is dreaming of us.
Truth & Prophecies PT 5
Fear and Doubt... My two closes friends once change proceeds to take over. What commands such reaction? Why do I think or dwell on it to much? So she knows the crushing truth sooner then I wanted her to but so be it. I'd rather have change now and work through the One Thousand Thirty Seven Mile difference on this scale then to get there and have to start fresh. So how do I explain my feelings? OH sure many might think I'll chase what ever I can, but those that truly know me are aware of the situations in life that I desire. How can I describe her? 7 year difference between the two of us. She is single mom who owns her home and only pays rental space. I have a mortgage and a job that I've carried for 10 years come this September 2011. She wishes to have a family and so do I. Now I know I have kids from my previous marriage, but does not mean I can not start new. This will just be an extension of my previous family, and my children Simon & Sasha will always be regarded as the most importance of my life none the less. All who are my family shalt be equal, for I will have no judgment passed saying I favored anyone more so then I did the next. I grew up that way and I will not make those mistakes or leave anyone feeling left out. I shall love all of my children; previous, step or even future just the same as any. It is her, the future partner that I take upon that will obviously be the spoiled one.
Should my new endevers play out well with the grace of God watching over the matter and guiding the positive out come. I can honestly say, this new soul would be the one I wish to grow old with and die loving. She is worth ever bit of that statement. She is an amazing soul, with charm and beauty hidden from many in the midst of the desert. I would never make her move unless she wanted to at some point, and even then it would be for all of us. She is the spirited image of my favorite video game character, and that image alone makes her so damn HOT... That no Victoria Secret model or Center Fold could rival her in the life time I would spend with her. She is sweet, I've got her beat on the innocence part. Just her voice at times can take away the world around me and leave me staring at the heavens. God did well bringing me this far to her door step.
I know, I'm always all over the place. Gemini nature kicking in. I linger over hearing from her txt or voice everyday. At times it makes or breaks the moment I am in. She stirs the heart beat and causes me to run faster. She makes me believe that good, pure hearted happy people still exist and that the world is not completely at a loss. I look forward to my return trip come this spring, as it will be the path to forever and possibly the end of my search. My search for completeness. Oh the energy she has placed in me and the fact that the oddest of my friends is the one that so to wishes for me to have this one in my life only leads me to the grace of God watching over me now. Never forget the past, never judge on the past. Take all that was before as lessons we all must learn, and carry the positive trails of love into the future. I so ask this to be the final stage. I shall date or do all that I must to make it so and if I must travel thousands of miles a year to have the end result that I desire. Then here I am, ready to do so with your image in my heart always guiding me home to you. Together or apart, Nikki you feed the laughter that brings the light of the sun down upon me. With you I could see never crying again, except when everyone is that happy.
My words leave me silent as I am so uplifted by this woman. Friendship for a life time, partner forever.
Should my new endevers play out well with the grace of God watching over the matter and guiding the positive out come. I can honestly say, this new soul would be the one I wish to grow old with and die loving. She is worth ever bit of that statement. She is an amazing soul, with charm and beauty hidden from many in the midst of the desert. I would never make her move unless she wanted to at some point, and even then it would be for all of us. She is the spirited image of my favorite video game character, and that image alone makes her so damn HOT... That no Victoria Secret model or Center Fold could rival her in the life time I would spend with her. She is sweet, I've got her beat on the innocence part. Just her voice at times can take away the world around me and leave me staring at the heavens. God did well bringing me this far to her door step.
I know, I'm always all over the place. Gemini nature kicking in. I linger over hearing from her txt or voice everyday. At times it makes or breaks the moment I am in. She stirs the heart beat and causes me to run faster. She makes me believe that good, pure hearted happy people still exist and that the world is not completely at a loss. I look forward to my return trip come this spring, as it will be the path to forever and possibly the end of my search. My search for completeness. Oh the energy she has placed in me and the fact that the oddest of my friends is the one that so to wishes for me to have this one in my life only leads me to the grace of God watching over me now. Never forget the past, never judge on the past. Take all that was before as lessons we all must learn, and carry the positive trails of love into the future. I so ask this to be the final stage. I shall date or do all that I must to make it so and if I must travel thousands of miles a year to have the end result that I desire. Then here I am, ready to do so with your image in my heart always guiding me home to you. Together or apart, Nikki you feed the laughter that brings the light of the sun down upon me. With you I could see never crying again, except when everyone is that happy.
My words leave me silent as I am so uplifted by this woman. Friendship for a life time, partner forever.
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